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freepressed.com - Latest News [Page 2]
White House Faces Off Challenges From Scientists
Friday, 27 February 2004, 2:09 pm | freepressed.com
Dark Ages II-- President Bush told reporters Saturday that as sure as the sun circles the flat earth, his administration is committed to pseudo-science. More >>
Skull & Bones Members Face Off For White House
Thursday, 26 February 2004, 10:53 am | freepressed.com
Room 322 -- John F. Kerry, 21, wore ceremonial robes, white make-up and was stretched inside a velvet coffin in the inner-sanctum of the Skull & Bones Crypt, the first time that he met George W. Bush. More >>
Satire: Liberal Vows To Not Vote Conscience
Tuesday, 24 February 2004, 11:43 am | freepressed.com
Hanging Chad -- Jacob Weisen, 31, Tampa, Florida, shrieked at his television as consumer advocate Ralph Nader said he would run for president on Meet the Press . More >>
Satire: David Kay Says 2000 Election Was Stolen
Thursday, 19 February 2004, 11:37 am | freepressed.com
The former director of the Iraq Survey Group, David Kay, has shocked the Bush administration once again by stating unequivocally that the 2000 presidential election was indeed stolen by the Supreme Court and delivered to George W. Bush. More >>
Satire: GOP Previews Season Of Kerry Smears
Tuesday, 17 February 2004, 10:49 am | freepressed.com
Complacent after four years of raping the treasury, leading the country into an illegitimate war and torching the environment, G.O.P. mouthpieces have prepared a laundry list of slanders against Democratic nominee Sen. John Kerry that they will unveil as soon ... More >>
Satire: Bush Investigates Self Finds No Wrongdoing
Monday, 16 February 2004, 1:17 pm | freepressed.com
After a hard look at himself in the mirror on Monday, President Bush said he doesn't believe he is guilty of lying to the American public about the threat Saddam Hussein posed to the United States and so people should just get over it already. More >>
Satire: The Most Evil Meets The Most Holy
Wednesday, 11 February 2004, 11:57 am | freepressed.com
In ceremony at the Vatican, Vice President Dick Cheney presents Pope with black dove. More >>
Bush Cabinet Members Who Got It Wrong Sent Packing
Tuesday, 10 February 2004, 10:47 am | freepressed.com
Heads rolled at the White House Monday following David Kay's assessment that "we all got it wrong". Condi, Rummy, Powell and Tenet replaced with Garafalo, Robbins, Sarandon and Moore. More >>
Satire: Can Kerry beat Bush?
Thursday, 5 February 2004, 12:39 am | freepressed.com
Does a decorated war hero and respected senator have a chance against a failed businessman who was an alcoholic into his 40's? More >>
Kay Quits ISG To Focus On More Serious Endeavours
Tuesday, 27 January 2004, 12:24 am | freepressed.com
Washington, D.C-- Claiming that he is ready to search for things that he might have a better chance of actually finding, David Kay announced his resignation from the Iraq Survey Group, the 1,400-member team searching for weapons of mass destruction ... More >>
Bush Counters Parade Of Bad News With Naps
Tuesday, 20 January 2004, 2:24 pm | freepressed.com
Bush counters parade of bad news on Iraq with midday naps President said to sleep best when the shit hits the fan Satire from… freepressed.com More >>
O'Neill To Enter Witness Protection Program
Friday, 16 January 2004, 11:47 am | freepressed.com
O'Neill to enter witness protection program Cheney reportedly contemplating post-emptive strike on former Treasury secretary. Satire from… freepressed.com More >>
Liberal Faces Conservative Relatives At Christmas
Wednesday, 24 December 2003, 11:04 am | freepressed.com
Beaver, OK.-- The warm glow of the holiday season dissipated into a lump of coal in the stocking as the Hicks family of Beaver, Oklahoma spent their Christmas day bashing minorities, gays and liberals, according to Andrew Hicks, a political science ... More >>
Insurgents Celebrate Capture With Suicide Bombings
Friday, 19 December 2003, 12:41 am | freepressed.com
Baghdad-- In a show of national unity and reconciliation following the capture of Saddam Hussein, Iraqi insurgents drove car bombs into government facilities two days in a row. More >>
World Sighs With Relief As Saddam Is Rescued
Wednesday, 17 December 2003, 11:41 am | freepressed.com
Tikrit-- Eight months after the search for missing Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein began, US Administrator Paul Bremer said the latest "well baby" has been found alive. More >>
Saddam Flushed WMD Stash Down Toilet
Tuesday, 16 December 2003, 10:27 am | freepressed.com
Baghdad--Details of the former dictator's arrest reveal that in the final moments before a raid on his hideout, Saddam Hussein likely disposed of valuable evidence that would have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he possessed weapons of mass ... More >>
Satire: Bush Makes Secret Trip To The Moon
Wednesday, 10 December 2003, 1:22 pm | freepressed.com
Washington, D.C.-- Just two weeks after the Bush Administration first announced its “bold, visionary and completely original” plan to send a manned spacecraft to the moon, Americans woke up last Saturday morning to find that President George W. ... More >>
Workers Move To China, India To Reclaim Lost Jobs
Tuesday, 25 November 2003, 11:30 am | freepressed.com
Free Trade Zone-- Thousands of blue collar workers are leaving the United States in pursuit of the 2.7 manufacturing jobs that moved overseas during the past three years. More >>
Iraqi Freewill A Hinderance To Democracy – Bush
Wednesday, 19 November 2003, 11:30 am | freepressed.com
Washington, D.C.-- President Bush conducted an emergency meeting with top coalition civilian administrator Paul Bremer Tuesday and Wednesday to plan the next misstep in the occupation of Iraq. More >>
Clean And Sober Rush Limbaugh Still An Asshole
Tuesday, 18 November 2003, 1:07 pm | freepressed.com
New York-- Those close to conservative shock-jock Rush Limbaugh say unlike many addicts who reevaluate their lives following drug and alcohol treatment, Rush is still the same closed-minded, race-baiting, male chauvinist homophobe he's always ... More >>
