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Babylon Express - Latest News [Page 1]

NZ Citizens "Subvert Democracy" (Satire)

Wednesday, 2 November 2005, 11:22 am | Babylon Express

The Prime Minister has accused some New Zealand citizens of subverting democracy by seeking official information for political reasons. In a statement today, Helen Clark said some private citizens and organisations were "unwilling or unable" to ... More >>

O’Driscoll's “Exhilarating Sensation Of Flight”

Monday, 31 October 2005, 1:39 pm | Babylon Express

Brian O’Driscoll, whose shoulder was dislocated in a controversial tackle by All Black’s Tana Umaga and Kevin Mealamu during the Lion’s tour here this year, has released an account of his experiences in The Guardian newspaper. In it, he talks of the “exhilarating ... More >>

Satire: The Rise And Rise Of Illegal Caffeine

Thursday, 12 June 2003, 12:15 am | Babylon Express

Where there is demand a supplier, whenever possible, will provide; this is the first law of economics. It is also the first law of the street - and in the streets of a once-proud capital, there is a demand being met by means illegal that has police ... More >>

Capital In Crisis As Coffee-Shortage Kicks In

Tuesday, 10 June 2003, 11:19 am | Babylon Express

Wellington is a city twitching irritably in the throes of a crisis today as regional coffee-levels slumped to their lowest point since the pre-café days of the 1970’s. More >>

Scoop Satire: Wainuiomata Escapes!

Friday, 6 June 2003, 12:57 am | Babylon Express

Hutt Valley suburb Wainuiomata was still unaccounted for this morning, despite intensive police efforts to recapture the renegade township after it escaped from its basin enclosure in a daring bid for freedom. More >>

Scoop Satire: Nats Deny Smith To Be Traded In

Friday, 30 May 2003, 12:54 am | Babylon Express

The National Party has come out fiercely denying rumors that former conservation minister Nick Smith is about to be traded in for a late-model Japanese import. More >>

Babylon Express: Ask The Minister...

Wednesday, 7 May 2003, 10:33 am | Babylon Express

Got a problem? Need an official answer? Ask the Minister, for the official Government answer to your problem... More >>

Scoop Satire: Decriminalising Whoring Your Soul

Monday, 14 April 2003, 1:55 pm | Babylon Express

Optimus Prime Helen Clark is the latest and most influential Member of Parliament to come out in public support of the proposed Corporate Prostitution Act currently in its second parliamentary sitting. More >>

Scoop Satire: Iraqi Girl’s Foot Liberated From Leg

Thursday, 10 April 2003, 11:32 am | Babylon Express

Baghdad: US military officials are hailing the liberation of a 12 year old Iraqi girl’s left foot from her leg as a “huge step forward” in winning the battle for the ‘hearts and minds’ of the Iraqi people. More >>

Scoop Satire: McDonalds Launches Iraq Peace Plan

Tuesday, 8 April 2003, 12:13 am | Babylon Express

Following another failed assassination attempt on Saddam Hussein, once more based on CIA ‘intelligence’, in a manner clumsier and less creative even than failed CIA plots against perpetually re-elected Cuban leader Fidel Castro, an unlikely peace ... More >>

Scoop Satire: Green Light to Children’s Crusade

Wednesday, 2 April 2003, 10:29 am | Babylon Express

US President George Bush has given the green light to a plan put forth by the foremost religious mystic within his administration, John Ashcroft. More >>

Scoop Satire: International News Briefs

Tuesday, 25 March 2003, 9:13 am | Babylon Express

British Prime Minister Tory Blair has been re-elected as head cheerleader for the US Government State Department for the 3rd year running. Mr Blair beat off strong competition this year from Australian PM John Coward to retain the much sought-after ... More >>

Bush & Saddam In Speech-Notes Swap Scandal

Monday, 17 March 2003, 11:09 am | Babylon Express

"If there is a person, then there is a problem. If there is no person, then there is no problem." SH - "Many others have met different fates. Let's put it this way: They are no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies." GWB More >>

Scoop Satire: Iraqi Post-War Candidates List

Thursday, 13 March 2003, 12:04 am | Babylon Express

United States President George Bush Junior continued to up the ante on arch-nemesis Saddam Hussein last night by releasing a list of potential candidates that may be called up to replace the Iraqi dictator if, as expected, he is deposed during the ... More >>

Scoop Satire: Eradicating Timmy The Terrorist

Tuesday, 11 March 2003, 9:29 am | Babylon Express

For the professionally trained soldier, few assignments are as daunting as isolating and neutralising an 8 year old boy armed with nuclear weapons. More >>

Scoop Satire: Timmy The "Littlest Terrorist"

Friday, 7 March 2003, 1:36 pm | Babylon Express

Timothy Hudson, a resident of Cleveland St, Brooklyn, has outraged the Bush Administration by continuing to deny the existence of nuclear weapons in his bedroom. More >>

Scoop Satire: Listen To Your Editors

Wednesday, 31 July 2002, 9:31 am | Babylon Express

And the Lord sent to the Earth his exalted Editors, and the Editors spake to the people saying 'This is thus and thus is that.' And the people did know the word of God. - The Book of Rupert, chapter 7, verse 4. More >>

Scoop Satire: US Hypocrisy Black-Hole Warning

Tuesday, 23 July 2002, 11:28 am | Babylon Express

American hypocrisy involving the accumulation of wanton bigotry and outright deception in the name of truth was creating a localized black hole of earth-engulfing proportions warned Cal-Tech Department of Total Destruction research physicist Dan Dreer in a ... More >>

Scoop Satire: Agents Arrested Breaking Into SIS

Friday, 19 July 2002, 11:15 am | Babylon Express

Questions about the mental competence of the nations highest intelligence unit are being raised after three Security Intelligence Service officers were caught while breaking into their own offices in Wellington early this morning. More >>

Scoop Satire: Cloned Newsreaders Go On Rampage!

Monday, 15 July 2002, 11:47 am | Babylon Express

Authorities were first alerted to the escape after a John Cumpball clone physically assualted a young boy picnicing with his parents in Avalon Park. Witnesses say the clone approached the family as they were settling down to eat. More >>





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